He’s currently in a happy relationship that’s most likely monogamous, and in any case, I wouldn’t want anything to happen between us for reasons of awkwardness, prioritizing our friendship (which I value above sex), etc. The last time I saw him during Hornygeddon, I basically had to excuse myself and flee for fear of doing or saying something that would make him uncomfortable, and then I fantasized about him for days afterward. It’s like the horniness was a fire hose I had to constantly keep trained elsewhere, and it was exhausting, if not impossible. At other times, I don’t seem to have a problem keeping any attraction under control. Props to you for your consideration and desire to handle this ethically. To honor the priorities that you have mapped out, the most humane thing to do at this party that you simply must attend is to be cordial to your friend while maintaining a distance. Don’t stay for any longer than necessary. I don’t think you should avoid him entirely-that would be rude-but you should also spend as little time with him as possible. If you feel bad about this or happen to notice him noticing, you could write him an email later, when your libido calms down from its Tasmanian devil spin. I don’t advise doing this before or at the party, because if he in reply signals that he’s amenable to the idea of sleeping together, it could further erode your rather admirable but clearly brittle boundaries.Įxplaining to him your primal attraction that you could nonetheless never ethically act on is the kindest, most potentially flattering way to let him know why you need space. You seem to want to hang on to this guy, and if your reasons for doing so are as numerous and nonsexual as you present, a plan will be helpful.ĭoing it after will allow you both to have some time to strategize the best steps for moving forward with your platonic friendship. Part of me, though, wonders if the sexual attraction is crucial to your feeling so close to him. Take your time, figure it out, and don’t cave. It’s not worth it.This subreddit is by and for people who are Gender, Sexual and Romantic Minorities (GSRM), including but by no means limited to LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) people, and respect for our diversity and experiences is paramount. All are welcome to participate who agree to follow the rules outlined below: Rules 1: Be respectful No GSRM-Phobic content (i.e: homophobia, bi/panphobia, transphobia, aphobia, as well as racism, serophobia, ableism, or sexism) If you are submitting a post that contains hateful remarks or triggering language, please precede your post's title with. Do not try to start an argument for the sake of an argument. 2: Must have willingness to learn no 'you're too sensitive'ĭemonstrate a willingness to learn.
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